Light brown on one side
textured and as flat and thin as anything
Feels like I could snap it in half
I try to
because we don’t always understand strength
Tiny and peach, marbled white
smooth as glass
The first two stones I pick up and keep in-hand
Rubbing and comforting myself
with their tone and weight
Many are familiar, related
Many I need to view in the sun and briefly remove from the shade
Many keep their full selves unseen below the silt
full of deer tracks that I like to follow
Many need to be dusted of sand
like my body on any day we meet

I sit on this stretch of dirt for the stones
for the adolescent ladybug on my denim
for the fine gravel and brittle clumps of grasses
that look like high desert in May
I can feel the shape and color of each
scattered around me like confetti
A stone for every mood I’ve ever felt
Every fight after dark and morning smile
of a lifetime
is right here
on the earth around my legs
Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to this patch off the side of the path
full of stand-ins for every act and
every one to come
That they’re all here together
That I’m here as one
Isn’t that the intrigue…
Isn’t that why you’re here…
to see all the little bits together
in the river valley

I stand and my entire universe
disappears in a blink
Five feet above, may as well be 2,000 miles
Every detail you thought you knew
is only revealed at eye level…
or side by side

The sun’s put my neck ablaze
but I won’t move
away from these,
my pieces yet
I pick burs out of my thighs with a burning, bleeding finger
But every one of the tiny crystalline specks around me
need to be felt today

Yesterday a woman who’s never met me
called me primal
and enchanting,
which is what I might call this swath
holding me in warmth
and the unknown ahead

January 28, 2024